3 Ways To Be Self-Compassionate
Self-compassion is simple. Be kind and accepting to yourself. Here are five ways to make that happen;
1. Pause and notice
Get into the habit of catching cruel, judgmental thoughts before they take over. Stop these negative messages from going any further. When you catch yourself having these negative statements come into your mind immediately combat them by saying – out loud if possible – something that is the opposite and positive. Example, “why can’t I do this!” Instead how about, “I can’t do this yet but I’ve surprised myself before with my creativity so I am confident I eventually will do this.”
2. Kindness
Be your own friend. Think, “I’m sorry you’re suffering, and I love you”. Use physical touch – a hand on your cheek, on your heart – as this sends a biological signal to your nervous system that you are safe. Get into the habit of showing yourself mercy and grace. Compliment yourself throughout the day whether silently or out loud.
3. Allow
Instead of arguing with your negative thoughts, instead of blocking your emotions, make space for them, allow them. When you catch yourself telling yourself you “shouldn’t” be the way you are, remind yourself that being imperfect, failing, and experiencing life difficulties is inevitable and perfectly natural. After all you are human and everyone experiences this.
So many aspects of ourselves and of our lives are not of our choosing, but instead stem from countless factors including our genetic makeup, life events, our environment etc. Accept “what is” instead of judging yourself for it.
One way your internal critic will beat you up is to tell you you’re weird or bad. With self-compassion, you kindly remind yourself that your initial reaction is completely normal. One thing I have found that personally helps is when I am feeling a certain negative emotion, I give it space and just take notice. I may say out loud, “oh ok, so you are trying to cause chaos in my stomach right now…. Very interesting.” And if it persists, I then break it up by repeating a positive statement out loud etc.
